Natural and Logical Consequences

Last spring I was dining with a longtime friend and we were talking about how grateful we were to have been raised by our parents.  We talked about the people we knew who had gotten into trouble in one way or another and wondered how our parents saved us from experiencing any really negative consequences in our lives.  We discovered that even though our parents didn't know each other well, weren't a part of the same community, they had similar parenting style.  Both sets of parents emphasized natural consequences and responsibility. 

In my house "It's wasn't my fault" were swear words which could result in groundings.  Every situation was analyzed with the help of my mom.  When I was growing up, I thought she was just trying to make me figure out how everything could be blamed on me.  In retrospect I realize that she was teaching me that even if another kid "started it," I was responsible for my reaction.  It was and still is a valuable lesson. 

As far as natural consequences go, my mom was a pro.  I'd be whining and complaining about how nauseous I felt, and my mom would just shrug her shoulders and say, "Well, you know you have food allergies."  No matter how bad my nausea, I did not get out of doing chores or showing up to events.  Sometimes it seemed like mom had no sympathy for my pain, but, I grew to have the same reaction to the nausea as my mom.  Now I think, "I know I'm allergic to milk and I ate ice cream anyway - doesn't mean I get to spend an evening on the couch whimpering or seeking sympathy from my friends - was it worth it?"

Now that my mom has all of her children out of the house, she's discovered that she has a talent and a passion for working with students who are labeled EBD or low functioning autism.  It turns out her instincts on child rearing are actually well documented methods.

Here are some articles:

Using natural and logical consequences from the University of Minnesota:
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/W00019.html

Why You Should Let Your Child Fail The Benefits of Natural Consequences
http://www.empoweringparents.com/The-Benefits-of-Natural-Consequences.php#

Teacher Tom's Blog
http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/natural-consequences.html